2020 is halfway over and I want the sweet release of death. In case you can't tell by how I spell certain words, the fact I say y'all a lot, or that I literally talk about the American Top 20, I live in the U.S., and believe it or not, but the States are a complete shitshow, even more than the rest of the world currently (except probably Yemen. Pray for Yemen, y'all). Given the fact of the police brutality protests and how we're still having massive problems with COVID-19 despite the fact the most of the rest of the world is close to done and starting to reopen because our government is so bone-headed that is makes the Brazilian government look like fucking Switzerland. I've been trying to see friends more to keep me sane, but that's pretty much turned into a battle between of mental health and my physical health thanks to the previously mentioned virus that causes irreparable lung damage, which is something an asthmatic like me does NOT need. Now, with all this happening, people have noted that pop music has become happier and better, which I've been somewhat skeptical towards. While yes, much of what is charting in the Top 40 has been pretty good, most of it hasn't really hit the Top 20, which is where most of the defining hits of a year peak at. But I've also found out from doing some personal research that the Summer usually has the best Top 20 of the whole year, with multiple songs contending for the "Song of the Summer" and most of them being pretty good. So, does the summer streak continue into 2020? Let's find out.
The Shit Tier (0/5):
#20: Falling by Trevor Daniel (Peak: 17, Current: 19)
I originally had this long rant about why this song is awful, but I no longer think it's needed to get my point across. All I need to say for now is this: After hearing this song about 200ish times in the span of 6 months due to the radio and the fact that I hate myself and hearing Daniel's debut album Nicotine, I can say that he is clearly trying to cross the appeal of Post Malone and the late Juice WRLD. Let me say this as someone who only very recently came around on Post Malone and still doesn't like Juice WRLD's music: You will never be as interesting, creative, unique, or talented as either artists, Trevor Daniel. You will be remembered for this song for the rest of the year (maybe) and quickly forgotten by the time January comes around.
#19: Intentions by Justin Bieber ft. Quavo (Peak: 5, Current: 5)
Last time, I was debating whether to put this in the Shit Tier or the Bad Tier, and I ended up hesitantly putting it in the shit tier. There was no hesitation this time, not for any particular reason, but for ALL of the reasons. The stuttered beat that sounds like a reject came from Madonna's American Life, the laughable and borderline parody lyrics, the existence of a Quavo guest verse in 2020, the sucking void of personality and charisma that is Justin Bieber who is still somehow making hits 10 years into his career because radio swallowed its own tail and only plays the safest of safe fluffy bullshit because they're too scared to go out of their comfort zone despite the world constantly changing and thus having to change with it or becoming irrelevant/dead because, "Hey, if this one very specific type of thing worked well in this very specific time frame, it will TOTALLY work well in a completely different time where so much has time it might as well be another world right?" Just all of that combined into one spoiled raw tomato that will never fully rot, no matter how long it's been sitting on that counter untouched by humans.
The Bad Tier (1/5):
#18: I Hope by Gabby Barrett (Peak: 16, Current: 17)
This actually took a while to sour on me. When I first heard it, I thought that it was overproduced, with it's gummy acoustic guitar, the percussion that frequently drowns out everything out in the mix including Barrett's vocals, the snaps that felt like they were recorded in another country, and the electric guitar solo that was sadly underwhelming, but I still called it passable enough to be a cute little revenge fantasy. But then I realized something: It's not cute. In fact, it's kind of icky. Like, breakups are hard, especially when one cheats on the other, but it nevertheless feels like a bunch of unnecessary and petty drama that's borderline high school level, and I fucking hate high school drama. I'm glad that more women in country are getting radio play, but I just wish the big ones were better.
#17: Toosie Slide by Drake (Peak: 1, Current: 20)
This was the first song of the 2020's to debut at #1. Why? Who still cares about this song? I mean, is Tik Tok really this powerful? The fact that this debut at #1 was probably part of that and part of Drake being a hype magnet when it comes to his releases, but I want to talk more about the Tik Tok stuff, because this is not the only song big off of Tik Tok to become a hit. Songs like Supalonely, Party Girl, ROXANNE, death bed, along with songs I've previously talked about on this ranking like Falling (and some that are up higher on the ranking but we're not there yet so shhhh), they were all by nobodies that all got bg off of some Tik Tok trend. It appears the marketing hacks have realized this and decided to hop on the bandwagon using Drake to test the waters, which is the equivalent of fishing by nuking the fucking lake and collecting the fish after they fall back down gasping for water.
The Meh Tier (2/5):
#16: We Paid by Lil Baby & 42 Dugg (Peak: 18, Current: 18)
Who cares about this song? No, really, who has thought to themselves "Man, that We Paid song is really something special." in the past month? Lil Baby is going to have AT THE VERY LEAST 5 songs on the 2020 year end, and only 1 of them rises above mediocrity (and we'll get to that one but later). What is it about Lil Baby that makes him popular enough to not only have two album bombs in one year, but for a good chunk of his songs sticking around well after the fact? And why is THIS song out of all of them becoming so popular? This beat barely even exists, Lil Baby and 42 Dugg have no personality outside of they're obnoxious nasally voices, and the lyrics are the same goddamn lyrics that's in every other song! I just...I don't know, man.
#15: Circles by Post Malone (Peak: 1, Current: 10)
*screams internally*
The Decent Tier (3/5):
#14: Roses by SAINt JHN & Imanbek (Peak: 4, Current: 4)
For those unaware, this is a remix by Kazakh DJ Imanbek of Brooklyn rapper SAINt JHN's song called Roses. So, with that said, here's my quick thoughts on the original version:
Roses by SAINt JHN
It's boring and not good.
Onto the remix!
I like it. It works surprisingly well for a song originally supposed to be the most miserable and draining experience possible and turning in into the exact opposite. Every time I hear it, I start involuntarily doing the same thing Will Ferrell does when he hears What Is Love. It has that sort of groove bouncy enough to bop to, but this restained enough for these times where we're stuck in our houses unless we're protesting cops beings dicks.
#13: Savage by Megan Thee Stallion ft. Beyoncé (Peak: 1, Current: 2)
The Beyoncé remix is better because she always adds a sense of importance to any song she's on, which this song needed, end of discussion.
#12: ROCKSTAR by DaBaby ft. Roddy Ricch (Peak: 1, Current: 1)
So, this song hit #1 while the U.S. police brutality riots were/are happening. This is the second line you hear in the song along with being part of the chorus:
"Fuck a cop car"
That is absolutely not a coincidence.
For the record, I listened to the album this was off of, BLAME IT ON BABY, and I can definitely say this is the best song that could've been a hit on it. Not really anything special, but solid enough that I'm fine with it being his biggest hit even if it should've been INTRO.
#11: The Box by Roddy Ricch (Peak: 1, Current: 15)
God fucking damnit, it grew on me again. I don't even know why this time. Maybe it's that I've noticed the strings in the background that give it a more epic feeling, maybe I finally got 100% used to Roddy Ricch's weird, sometimes unsettling voice, maybe it's because right after it left the #1 spot, everything in the world went to shit, who knows. All I can say is that I now like this song. Also:
"Told 'em fuck 12, fuck SWAT'"
I mean, did you expect me NOT to point out the fact that this song predicted the future course of America 6 months in advance? Because if you did, that was pretty fucking stupid of you.
#10: The Bones by Maren Morris (Peak: 12, Current: 13)
I...completely forgot this was still in the Top 20. Ever since the lockdown, I haven't listened to the radio as frequently as I used to, which means that I listen to this song nowhere near as much as before. My thoughts are still the same, it's an alright song which symbolizes something I respect greatly and hope to see more of. The bones of this song have yet to rot, but still needs some more calcium. I hate myself why did I write tha-
The Good Tier (4/5):
#9: WHAT'S POPPIN' by Jack Harlow (Peak: 8, Current: 8)
I have a...weird relationship with this song. You see, a know this guy who really likes Harlow and his music. In fact, he likes his music so much that he LITERALLY GOT JACK HARLOW'S MANAGERS' SNAPCHAT AND IS TRYING TO GET HIM TO PERFORM IN KC! I shit you not, this is for real, and it's weird as fuck for me to think about. Okay, now onto the actual song. For one, this song is dorky as fuck. I swear to God that piano line comes with it's own spotted bow tie, buck teeth, and glasses fixed with duct tape. Despite the fact of that sounding like an insult, it most certainly is not. One of the things that mainstream hip hop has needed in my opinion is more songs that are just...the goofiest fucking thing. Harlow's on here talking about Kim Possible, going to Sam's Club, and my personal favorite line:
"I'm drinking water and wearing protection"
Ah yes, the two most responsible things a man can do: stay hydrated and wear condoms during sex. Despite me making fun of this song, I do find it to be unironically enjoyable, but with a bit of humor to it.
#8: Say So by Doja Cat (Peak: 1, Current: 6)
Yes, it grew on me, shut up.
Earlier in the year, I was planning to do a lengthy blog about this song, it's producer, and the overall idea of separating the art from the artist. I canned it because who honestly wants that talk in 2020 when the fucking world is on fire both figuratively and, for a while, unfortunately literally. If you want my thoughts summed up, here you go.
Don't believe everything on the surface when it comes to these things. Dr. Luke is a shitty person and there's a strong possibility that Doja Cat could be another victim that's sadly too scared to open up right now. Plus, if we're going to talk about the whole "We should abandon the artists who work with/are still working with him" motif, Well...that would be you'd have to stop listening to the works of 2 Chainz, 3OH!3, Adam Lambert, Akon, Arrested Development (along with Speech separately), Avril Lavigne, Azealia Banks, Backstreet Boys, Becky G, Big Boi of Outkast, B.o.B, Bo Bice, Bon Jovi, Britney Spears, Cher Lloyd, Ciara, Cody Simpson, Daughtry, Diplo, Eminem, Fergie, Fifth Harmony, Flo Rida, G.R.L., Gucci Mane, Jason Derulo, Jennifer Lopez, Jessie J, Jibbs, Jordin Sparks, Juicy J, Katy Perry, Kelis, Kelly Clarkson, Kendrick Lamar, Kevin Rudolf, Kim Petras, KYLE, Leona Lewis, Lil Jon, Lil Wayne, LunchMoney Lewis, Marina & The Diamonds, Maroon 5, Miley Cyrus, Miranda Cosgrove, Ne-Yo, Nicki Minaj, One Direction, Paris Hilton, P!nk, Pitbull, Pusha T, R. City, Rihanna, R.Kelly, Robin Thicke, Sabi, Shakira, Skrillex, Sugababes, Taio Cruz, Taylor Swift, T.I., T-Pain, Trey Songz, Tyga, Usher, The Veronicas, The Wanted, Weezer, will.i.am, and Wiz Khalifa. Along with all of them, he started as the lead guitarist in Saturday Night Live's house band and made an official remix of the Mortal Kombat theme song for the Mortal Kombat movie. Have fun with that. One last thing: certain artists have said they will never work with Dr. Luke. I'm fine with that. The problem is that some of the artists currently working with him may have to under some kind of contract they can't get out of. Once again, the music industry is a pile of shit and will constantly glorify those shittier than itself. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
#7: Blueberry Faygo by Lil Mosey (Peak: 9, Current: 9)
For the longest time, this song was in the decent tier because the verses are so forgettable that I don't even remember they exist right now. Like, I'm literally listening to the song as I'm writing this, and I don't recall a single word for the verses. So, with that said, why is it the good tier? Well, the reason why is because of that chainsaw to the auditory cortex that is the hook. Holy shit, it's like the song has a goddamn double-barrelled shotgun to my temple forcing me to put it a tier higher or it blows my brains to smithereens through it's downright inhuman levels of catchiness. Good God, this level of catchyness is probably used as some kind of torture device used on the very worst criminals.
#6: Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles (Peak: 16, Current: 16)
Pop rock is coming back, bitches!
I've come to realize that Harry Styles is someone whose music I usually enjoy, but just don't have a lot to say about. Adore You, Sign of the Times, Lights Up, Kiwi, no matter what it is, it usually falls into the "good in a very non-specific" category for me.
The Great Tier (5/5):
#5: The Bigger Picture by Lil Baby (Peak: 3, Current: 7)
I don't think there was anyone who expected this song to be released by THIS artist, let alone for it to be as good as it is, less than me. People who've known me for long enough know that I just...do NOT get the appeal of Lil Baby. I've always found his voice to be grating, his subject matter and wordplay dull as dishwater, and his beats incredibly uninspired. Hell, I already talked about this with We Paid and how much of a nothing that song is! But somehow, despite any and all reason, Lil Baby makes a protest anthem, and a great one at that. Now, if you still don't know my opinion on the matter, well...Black Lives Matter, defund the police, no justice no peace, all cops are bastards. Does that clear it up for you? Good. I've heard some bigoted shitheads say something along the lines of "WeLl ThE oFfIcErS aRe In JaIl, So WhY aRe tHeY sTiLl PrOtEsTiNg???" The Bigger Picture is Lil Baby telling all those people "Hey, you! Fuck you! Here's why we're still rioting you piece of shit!" Yes, I'm aware that I'm living the stereotype of "white person getting into a trap artist when they get political," but it's a stereotype for a reason. Getting political is an incredibly risky thing in music, where if they're not feeling your message or if it's poorly thought out it can come off as preachy, especially if the artist in question is not known for covering politics in their music. When it's pulled off well, it's the kind of thing that puts artists into the history books.
#4: Rain on Me by Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande (Peak: 1, Current: 11)
Lady Gaga still has it, apparently. Again, we've got another Watermelon Sugar scenario here, because I don't have a lot to say about this song other than it's really good. I like Gaga returning to her pop side, here and Ariana have pretty good chemistry, and unlike certain other songs *cough cough TROLLZ cough cough* it actually feels like a #1 hit! So...yeah.
#3: Adore You by Harry Styles (Peak: 6, Current: 12)
I've been hearing people call this song a "simp anthem," and while they're not wrong, it's also the most adorable simp anthem in the world. Styles just sells his love so well that it hits the sweet part just before it starts to become pathetic. Don't have much else to say about it.
#2: Don't Start Now by Dua Lipa (Peak: 2, Current: 14)
After posting my Spring ranking, I realized something about this song, particularly about it's bass line. Something about it seemed so familiar and yet I could never put my finger on it. It's like it was 20 feet in front of me but I don't have my glasses on (yes, I wear glasses). But then I thought of a question and at that moment everything clicked. The question was:
"Is Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers making bass lines behind the scenes?" -My inner thoughts
For those who don't know, Rise Against are my favorite band of all time, but Red Hot Chili Peppers are a very close second. They've made some of the best funk rock of the 80's and 90's along with multiple classic albums such as Blood Sugar Sex Magik and Californication, plus all of their hits here in the states were fucking incredible. Even if you don't recognize the band name, you'll recognize songs like Under the Bridge, By the Way, Dani California, Otherside, Scar Tissue, and Snow ((Hey Oh)) when you hear them, along with a handful of songs that, for whatever dumbass reason, were not hits like Californication, Can't Stop, Dark Necessities, Give It Away, and The Zephyr Song. I love every part of them as a band, but easily their strongest asset is their bassist, Michael Balzary, AKA Flea. Now, obviously, flea did not make the bassline to Don't Start Now, but his influence is front and center. The bounce, the groove, and the charm of this song are all held together by that fan-fucking-tastic bassline, not that Dua or any of the other instrumentation don't contribute. The piano notes in the pre-chorus are full of energy about to blast off, the drums are punchy, the guitar is loose enough to blend in and still tight enough to stand on their own, and that string solo is just...absolute perfection. Dua Lipa is a force to be reckoned with, and I suspect that she'll be around for a lot longer.
#1: Blinding Lights by The Weeknd (Peak: 1, Current: 3)
This song has a possibility of being the biggest song of the year and I couldn't be happier about it. Bringing back the grand swellness of the 80's best music and adding a modern flair with that synth line that, mark my words, will become as recognizable as Lipps Inc.'s Funkytown. All that, plus the fact of The Weeknd giving his best vocal performance since the underrated False Alarm, and you get a song that's the embodiment of what I love about pop music.
So, that was a the 2020 Summer Top 20. How was it? Well, it's the best one I've covered on this blog yet with a 62/100! It's weird thing, as the world continues to spiral more and more out of control, pop music continues to improve. Maybe it's because people just want to be happy again, maybe it's just pure coincidence, whatever it is, I'm glad that music is getting better.
SONGS I WANT TO BE HITS:
Die from a Broken Heart by Maddie & Tae (Peak: 51, Current: 51)
I've never broken up with anyone before (or dated anyone lol), but if that ever happens holy shit I hope I don't leave her as depressed as they are in this song. Fuck, man.
Do It by Chloe x Halle (Peak: 83, Current: 91)
Stream Ungodly Hour.
Don't Rush by Young T & Bugsey ft. Headie One (Peak: 56, Current: 58)
I should not like this song as much as I do, considering just how...brain-rottingly dumb it is. But, I've never proclaimed to have the most sophisticated taste, so...
Like That by Doja Cat ft. Gucci Mane (Peak: 72, Current: 72)
I think I might actually like this song more than Say So. People have called Doja Cat the new Nicki Minaj, and while they're not wrong, Nicki was never really able to play up her adorable side like Doja. Also, I finally understand the appeal of Gucci Mane, I think.
One Night Standards by Ashley McBryde (Peak: 87, Current: 87)
Country music is finally starting to play more women and I couldn't be more happier. Seriously, so many women in country like Caitlyn Smith, Kacey Musgraves, previously mentioned Maddie & Tae, and the woman I'm talking about right now, Ashley McBryde, have been slept on because Nashville has made country radio into a glorified boys town no girls allowed type of situation and that sucks ass.
SONGS I REALLY REALLY DON'T:
After Party by Don Toliver (Peak: 57, Current: 63)
I remember listening to Don Toliver's debut album Heaven or Hell and knowing that After Party would be a single just off the fact that even though I heard it three times and hated it, I couldn't get it out of my head for a month afterwards.
Bang! by AJR (Peak: 99, Current: 99)
I already talked about this one on my birthday special, if you want a description of this piece of shit, go there. I just want to be done with this band.
Cool Again by Kane Brown (Peak: 68, Current: 78)
It appears that collaborating with Marshmello gave Kane Brown some ideas. Some really, really, REALLY bad ideas.
I Love My Country by Florida Georgia Line (Peak: 53, Current: 53)
Honestly, I kind of want this one to be a hit just so I can put it on my worst list and take a shit on nationalism.
... by ... (Peak: ..., Current: ...)
Yeah, I'm not spoiling this one. All I'll say about it is this: If this becomes a hit and makes the year end, hot girl bummer will finally have competition for worst hit song of the year. If it doesn't, I have a plan for how and when I will mercilessly slaughter this piece of shit gargling garbage dumpster fire unbearable melodrama for the sake of melodrama high school petty bullshit deep as a puddle of cum fuck this fuck this song fuCK THIS SONG FUCK THIS SO-
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